It has been a long grueling month of June, and I am sad to say that the 2008 Vanista Ct. Olympics have concluded. Although I feel I played well in the games, I was a bit disappointed with the overall results.

Winning the bronze medal is typically nothing to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, when there are only 3 participants, it’s nothing to write home about.

The events I am strong in such as Croquet, Poker, and Shuffleboard, I somehow had the wheels fall off and couldn’t capture any gold. And ironically a few events where I was a big underdog such as pool I was able to capture silver. Nonetheless, all I can do is learn from the amazing experience and get back to the training center.

The Vanista Ct. Olympic Committee is actually planning a 2008 Fall Olympics with all new events. Some of the preliminary events are to include Monopoly, Darts, Badminton, and possibly go-cart racing.

My neighbors and I are just that crazy that we also had a fun closing ceremony event with music, beverages, and awards. John Bauer (representing Germany) also known now as “Mista Vanista” was able to lock in the championship belt (better than a gold medal) on the final day of competition with a record fishing session where he only landed 1 small mouth bass.

Jay Sandine (representing USA) saw all his hopes and dreams shatter when he could have tied up the events by catching one simple fish. He had a monster on the line and got it within 6 inches of the shore, and then the unthinkable happened………..the fish got away, and Jay’s Olympic dreams were shattered.

As for myself, I represented India and again had a disappointing showing this year. I am extremely excited about the forthcoming fall Olympics however. In a phone interview with ESPN after the closing ceremonies, I was quoted as saying:

“You know what, I played these guys before the Olympics, These neighbors are who I thought they were, THEY ARE WHO I THOUGHT THEY WERE! Now look, if you want to crown their asses, then crown em! I let em off the hook!”

Jeremy Enke - June 30th 2008

As many of you know, and I have mentioned it on my affiliate radio show, I have some fun neighbors. Last year we hosted the first annual Vanista Ct. Olympics. I am happy to report that the 2nd annual Olympic games are officially underway. These high profile Olympic games run for three weekends and include the following games:

Croquet, Bowling, poker, Bocce Ball, Pool, Shuffleboard, Bags, Basketball, and finally we wrap the events up with Fishing. For each event the winner is awarded a gold, second place silver and third of course gets the bronze.

The competitors are as follows:

Name: Jeremy Enke

Representing: New Dehli, India

Hobbies: Internet Porn, Long camel rides in the rain, operating a Non English speaking 1-900 fetish number. (2007 Finish - Bronze)

Name: John Bauer

Representing: Stuttgart, Germany

Hobbies: Showing wife his pimp hand is strong, collecting antique steroid needles (2007 Finish - Gold)

Name: Jay Sandine

Representing: Kaanapali, Hawaii

Hobbies: Contracting rare skin disease from Midwestern plants, nude midnight snorkeling (2007 Finish - Silver)

The shenanigans that take place over the course of the Vanista Ct. Olympics include copious consumption of alcoholic beverages, temper tantrums, and general insulting words about fellow players, families, and yes even wives. There is no limit as to what may transpire.

I am happy to announce though after 1 day of competition and 3 events I am in second place. I had a disheartening croquet showing, but pulled two silvers in bowling and poker. To be honest I was in a position to win both of those events, I just couldn’t come through in the clutch. During the croquet match I ruined my sunglasses, broke a mallet, and punched my mailbox. My wife is thinking about enrolling me in some anger management.

Competing in these games is more than just sports though. It’s about the attire you wear, as well as how bad you can mentally break down your opponent. Next week we will be competing in Bocce Ball, Pool, and Shuffleboard. I predict 1 of each medal this week for myself. This will keep me in the hunt for week 3 where I am a huge favorite in fishing and maybe bags. Here are some pics from week 1.

The winner each year gets the traveling belt, John Currently holds it:

The other neighbors are thrilled to have drunk screaming guys in the front yards all day:

This was after breaking the mallet. You got to love the attire too:

This pretty much summarizes what John’s weekend will be like for the next 3 events:

Jay Sandine wearing the shattered sunglasses:

How did I silver in poker against these donkeys?

If you think all these shenanigans make me crazy, then you should really read a few other sections in this blog. Start with my crazy prop bets and then check out my section dedicated solely to pissing off women. After reading these, you will know I am nuts Enjoy the rest of your week!