Here is a list 13 practical and funny items that I gauruntee nobody on your list has.  Giving a gift like one of these will make you the most popular Aunt, Uncle, Brother, Sister, Friend, or Relative this holiday season. Feel free to share other fun or pratical gifts in the comments section below!

BANANA GUARD – Protect Your Banana!

Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Banana Guard allows you to safely transport and storage individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.

LOCK-CUP

Lock Cup – Anti-Theft Coffee Cup. Are you tired of others stealing your coffee cup?  Well now there’s a solution.  The Lock – Cup has a hole which prevents most people from using it. Only the owner of the cup can use his/hers shaped key to close the hole.

TRANSPARENT TOAST

You love toast, but you always burn it? Than, this invention us for you. This transparent toaster allows you to see the bread while it is toasting so you just have to take it out when the color is right.  This idea is based on a transparent heating glass technology.

BUTTER CUTTER

One Click Butter Cutter controls your portion as an important part of staying healthy. This ingenious butter cutter delivers one standard pat with each click of the handle. You love toast, but you always burn it? Than, this invention us for you. This transparent toaster allows you to see the bread while it is toasting so you just have to take it out when the color is right.  This idea is based on a transparent heating glass technology.

GIANT REMOTE

Never lose your remote again!   With giant buttons, this extra-large remote is easy to use and impossible to lose.  It’s a 6-in-1 remote so you can use it to control your TV, VCR, DVD player, satellite, cable and auxiliary A/V device. It even features glow-in-the-dark buttons, so you can easily find the remote in the dark.  (You can buy them at Wal Green’s for $10 and give it to the person who usually holds same in a death grip but when detached always asks ….. Have you seen ….?)

DAY CLOCK

What day is today? You don’t know? Then you need a Day Clock.  It’s uniquely designed to keep track of weekly events like your golf day, card night, movie night, and so much more. It’s ideal for vacations and cruises when it’s easy to lose track of the day.

CRIME SCENE TOWEL

Chalk outline crime scene beach towel – be the coolest person on the beach!

LASER SCISSORS

Laser Scissors Cutting a straight line has never been easier. Just aim the pin-point laser and follow the line. The scissor blades are stainless steel and cut very clean with a micro edge.

TOILET SEAT LIFTER

‘Who left the Toilet Seat up?’ The Peace Maker  will end the battle of the toilet seat.  Merely step on the pedal to activate the lifting mechanism. When finished, remove your foot from the pedal and the seat gently comes to a rest where it started.

ILLUMINATING CAR SLIPPERS

Do you get up at night to drink water, go to the toilet… Do you wish you could see in the dark?  Remarkably bright LED lights are triggered by your footsteps and light up the floor 30 feet in front of you; ultra-soft plush style are extra comfortable and cozy warm.   (Now I would clarify this as a necessity!)

‘THE THING’ – INFANT PILLOW

The Zaky is an ergonomic infant pillow designed by a mom to mimic the size, weight, touch, and feel of her hand and forearm to help her baby with comfort, support, protection, and development. The Zaky can help calm your baby and help your baby sleep better through the night.

TRAVELER’S PHRASE BOOK T-SHIRT

If you are traveling a lot and don’t always know the language of the country you are visiting, then this T-shirt is for you. It has a phrase book printed on it so just point a finger at the pictogram you need and then point it twice at the question mark, which means, ‘Where is it?’ and in no time you have found what you were looking for… or not.    (Another possibility for the foreign language impaired)

WHEEL-MOVING BENCH

Whether you want to sit on the sun or in the shade, near the river or under the tree… now you have your movable bench, to sit wherever you like.

Feel free to share your comments on your favorite gift or links to other funny and practical gifts! Oh an also feel free to digg and stumble this

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to stumble it, digg it, or pass it on.  Enjoy.

Below are a collection of pictures (Thank-You Karl Jefferson) of what many celebrities would look like had they not hit the big time and somehow ended up in the ass crack of the world commonly referred to as the Midwest.

I got these in an email and after posting this I was able to track down the original source of this excellent photoshop work.  Thanks to the reader who let me know.  Credit goes to PlanetHiltron.com as I believe they did the originals.

Britney Spears

Catherine Zeta Jones & Michael Douglas

John Travolta

Sarah Jessica Parker

Tara Reid

Mary Kate & Ashley

Sharon Stone

Gwen Stefani

Ashlee Simpson

Nicole Kidman

Paris Hilton (would graduate from coke to meth obv.)

Pamela Anderson

Jennifer Aniston

Cameron Diaz

Johnny Depp

The Beckhams

J Lo & Marc Anthony

Tom Cruise

Karl is notorious for sending over some of the best viral emails, and even better he only forwards on the best ones. I think I should make a “Karl Jefferson” category on this blog!

Anyhow, with no further ado, here is the latest I received from him. Thanks Karl, keep em coming!

The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is as follows:

- After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 Million!

- Assuming he got sex every night (which us men know would have never happened), it ended up costing him $26,849 each time he had sex with his wife.

This is his ex-wife Heather:

On the other hand, let’s talk about Elliot Spitzer’s call girl who obviously has an amazing body. There is no doubt that any guy wouldn’t mind spending an evening with this girl. The charges for her were only $4000 FOR ANYTHING!

Here is Kristen:

Had Paul McCartney “rented” Kristen for 5 years, he would have paid $7.3 Million for an hour of sex every night for years (a total savings of $41.7 Million Dollars), plus the value added benefits below:

• A 22 year old hot babe
• No rubbing her leg in the middle the night “hoping”
• No begging
• No coaxing
• Never Bullshit “No Headaches” or “I’m Tired” excuses
• Ability to put BOTH legs around you
• No bitching or complaining
• Best of all though, she leaves when you ask and comes back when you ask
• All at 1/7th of the cost, with no legal fees

So gentlemen, just remember – Sometimes renting makes far more sense than buying!