It’s been a wild and crazy week to say the least. It all started with the “Absolute Poker Superuser Account” rumors. Initially a thread was made over at PAW that seriously got a bit crazy. I made the choice to delete the Absolute Poker is Rigged thread that you can read about through that link.

Then of course a new thread about the deleted thread was started. In this thread Danielle from Absolute Poker made her official statement about the situation. Let me make a few things clear and hopefully those reading this will understand my rationale better.

1. Although I do play online poker, I am first and foremost an internet marketer and a poker affiliate.

2. I don’t play high stakes poker (unless really drunk) and even then I don’t play that high..except that one time at FullTilt that I rolled up over $10K and lost all but my original $400 buyin. <———– donkey.

3. I have no clue what the real story at AP is about the super user account situation.

In 6 months we will probably still be sitting here speculating about what happened and how it happened. For all I know Serinda could be sitting on a super user account. Adioking at PAW said something to the extent that I was aiding a criminal organization by deleting the original post. Ummm, yea…. If the government can’t even figure out the UIGEA, I am fairly certain that deleting a post in an internet forum is not going to get anyone in trouble. If the DOJ squad of black suburbans pulls up in the next few weeks though and takes me away, then so be it. I’ve seen several episodes of “Lockup” on MSNBC. I’ll be the most prepared prisoner in the world.

On a serious note though, let me also explain a few things about the deleted posts and my blog entry that day. I’d like to introduce a term called link bait and discuss the hooks I used. I knew if I deleted the thread I could get AP to make an “official statement” on PAW. So of course they did. And if you have noticed over the past few days the forums have been very active and that thread in particular has had a record amount of views. It has been linked to from some of the largest poker communities and websites around.

If you can believe it, there are thousands of poker affiliates out there that still have never heard of PAW or even CAP. Getting legitimate news worthy links on sites like 2+2 is a good thing in terms of growing PAW membership, credibility, and gaining exposure to our network.

Likewise with the post I made here in the blog, I knew the responses would not all be positive. In marketing though, sometimes a little controversy is good. By doing this one post I also received some links from various sites including more traffic from PAW. Shit guys, I have no clue what the fuck happened with this situation. And to be honest, I am not going to lose sleep over it. We work in an industry that is defined by it being a “gray area”. Likewise everyone knows that various forms of cheating are going to occasionally take place. I could spend the next several weeks following the inevitable 534,928 posts at 2+2, or I could go on running my business and just wait to see if anything develops. (which is doubtful at best)

I am going to take the second option.

WIN $20 on PokerStars!

Now for some Thursday evening fun. The first person to comment on why this is the dumbest animal in the world will win $20 into their PokerStars account. (Hint: This is poker affiliate and SEO related…..the winner will need to post a URL)

This article was originally posted over at Wise Camel. I came across it again today in my bookmarks and feel I should share with the group. Plus, posting a picture of a stripper or half naked chick is well overdue on this blog. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have always been a connoisseur of high class strip clubs. I don’t know what it is about these places, but I find myself moderately intrigued.

A total buzz kill however is when you’re with your buddies and some annoying overweight, coked out stripper won’t stop asking everyone if they want a dance. Half these girls could make a ton more money if they followed the advice below. You too can achieve great success by applying sales and marketing techniques of strippers.

Here are the 10 sales and marketing techniques to be learned from strippers:

Sales Technique #1 - Give them something for nothing
One of the first things a stripper will do is come up to you and flirt with you. She will likely sit on your lap or do something to raise your excitement level. For this, you have to do nothing. But you do get a sample of the service and if it is a good one, your chances of buying the service increases. This also applies to the dances they do on the stage.

Sales Technique #2 - Understand your customers
Strippers get to know their customers by asking questions. This allows them to develop a rapport and tailor the sales pitch…

Sales Technique #3 - Tailor the Sales Pitch
Strippers will try different sales pitches to different people based on what she thinks they like. “I like to get dirty” or “Have you seen my great ass?” or “My tits are real”. Each pitch may be the one thing that converts the potential customer into a buyer. (Pointing out a tight ass works well for me). And she revises her pitch based on experience.

Sales Technique #4 - Make sure you are selling a great product/service
She knows she has to have a great product. If she put on 30 pounds or hadn’t showered for the past 4 days, she would likely not get as many customers. Regardless of how great of a salesperson you are, you can’t do much with a crappy product/service.

Sales Technique #5 - Provide Good Customer Service
She will make sure you are happy on your first dance or she won’t get repeat business or won’t be able to do what she ultimately set out to do…Upsell.

Sales Technique #6 - Upsell
She sells the customer on a relatively cheap service, a lapdance, but then markets her other services to them. She tries to get them to the “champagne room” and sell an upgraded service, which is where the money is at. However, without the first sale, she would never get the larger sale. Customer acquisition is tough. Once she does it, she needs to get as much business as she can.

Sales Technique #7 - Closing Techniques
She will use a variety of closing techniques to get you to buy her services. There are a variety of closing techniques, but two popular ones used by strippers are the compliment close (usually flirting with you) and companion close (getting your buddies to push you into closing the deal).

Sales Technique #8 - Target your audience
Strippers market to individuals that are interested in her service. First, she works in a strip club where guys go specifically for her service, that is obvious. But she also knows which guys to go after within a group or which groups will likely spend the most money. Spending time with cheap-asses only wanting to pay a dollar for a dance will not be a wise use of he precious time.

Sales Technique #9 - Persistence
Even though the audience is qualified, she knows she will get rejections. Even so, she will go up to every guy and ask if they need a lap dance. She also knows that the more guys she asks, the more yes’s she will get.

Sales Technique #10 - Branding
I don’t know any strippers that are named Ethel, Mildred or Agnus. Instead, you will get the pleasure to do business with Cookie, Destiny, Candy, or Raven.

I wrote this blog post last month.  After seeing the evidence that has come out on PocketFives however with the excel file, I tend to believe that there were some shenanigans going on.  Here is my latest take on it and what the implications are for poker affiliates.

So today I am sitting in my office doing what any other poker affiliate does on a Monday, surfing porn and checking fantasy football stats adding content, responding to emails, and working on websites. I saw the post on PAW over the weekend about the wild accusations regarding Absolute Poker being rigged but didn’t think much of it. Since I have been in the online poker industry, the “online poker is rigged” argument has always been around. Why can’t we just go back to 300 baud and BBS systems. Damn, that was when life was simple.

The condensed version of this story is that somehow there is a “Super User” account and that Mark Seif has something to do with it. The story then goes on to say that a few players with this super account status at AP can see the entire tables hole cards. Some people posted poker tracker stats and hand histories at 2+2 in an effort to substantiate the claims.

As this began to spread across the various poker forums, it also spilled into the affiliate forums at PAW. Some of the affiliates already unhappy with AP’s affiliate department chimed in with their thoughts on the rumor. Then a few other affiliates posted about their special “Rain Man” talents, and being able to predict outcomes. It was an intriguing post to say the least.

Later in the day I got an email from Danielle stating she thought portions of the post were slanderous towards Absolute Poker. At first I was kind of pissed and wanted to take the stance that PAW is an open forum for affiliates to discuss any issues facing the industry. Likewise I didn’t want to censor anything or delete the post because that is not what I believe in.

But then I had a real hard think on the topic. I have been hearing about online poker sites being rigged since I started in this industry. After all, it’s a natural thought process in an industry where over 80% of the customers are losers. Furthermore I value the relationship between PokerNews, PAW, and my own personal accounts with AP. I also think the idea of a few users having super account statuses is a bit far fetched. I am not saying it couldn’t happen. But if you understand how encryption, RNG, and especially packets work between the poker server and the user, then you know this would be a hell of a hack and an unprecedented security breach in the history of online poker.

After further review, I decided the best thing to do was to leave all the bullshit, rumors, and guessing to the poker players over at the poker forums. Although I did tell AP that I wasn’t going to lie about why I deleted the post and that they would to have to make a follow up post when the “WTF happened to the AP posts” started popping up.

What amazes me is that someone posts a small sample size of hand histories and makes a few outlandish allegations on 2+2 and the whole industry is in an uproar. Yet the collusion and cheating that undoubtedly takes place on every site in the higher limits is seldom talked about. I would think the higher limit players would be more concerned about this each day than the theory of a Super User account at AP.

Regardless, any time there is an enormous amount of money involved, people will always look for an edge or a way to cheat. It happens everywhere from casinos in Las Angeles to Wall St. in New York. Now throw into the mix a game of deception like poker where several thousands of dollars are involved. To take it even further, add in the fact that online poker is for the most part anonymous where people can play from proxies and appear to be anyone or anywhere in the world. Not to mention the fact that now days people are playing with 7 figures in their online poker accounts. (Times have really changed since the days of Paradise and Planet Poker)

For the record I am not saying anyone specifically cheats or that it is rampant in the industry or on any specific site. But if you think for a second that these big games don’t have collusion and cheating taking place from time to time, you’re very naive. It’s as simple as a group of pro’s playing shorthanded at the same table, but with a shared roll. Put your thinking caps on and you can probably imagine several scenarios on how collusion takes place at online poker sites. I won’t say more on that as I am not trying to start a whole new controversy. I am thankful I found my niche in the high stakes poker affiliate arena versus at the tables. Although fuck……I’ve probably been cheated out of a few hundred players here and there throughout the years too.

The point I am trying to make is that this type of cheating or collusion in online poker is never really discussed or blown up like the current conspiracy theory has been. And the odds of high limit collusion taking place every day at online poker sites is much more plausible than a poker room like Absolute Poker having “Super User” accounts. Maybe there was just simple chip dumping going on, or perhaps the player was on tilt or drunk and got very lucky during that small sample size. I would think these two scenarios would be way more believable. Something was probably up, no doubt, but the current theory of seeing hole cards is unlikely, but that’s just my opinion.

Anyhow I am not defending Absolute Poker or saying that the allegations are not possible, because they very well may be. All I am saying is that until I see more concrete evidence that certain players can see everyone’s hole cards, I am not sure what to think on it.

WARNING - Only Read On If You Are Experiencing Severe Boredom.

The Carnival Ring Toss Is Rigged — I Can Beat It Though

Now onto real cheating and how to beat a truly rigged game. I present you with the ring toss at the carnival. This is the most rigged game in the world, have you ever seen the necks of those bottles. When you throw one of those red plastic rings it will always bounce off. Even if you go directly on top of the bottle, it will still bounce off. It’s simple geometry.

So here’s the trick. And I will preface this by saying the Carnie’s know this trick so do it when they are busy and not watching. Stack two rings together, one on top of each other. Then throw them straight up together. They need to stay together through flight and on the way down…….When the rings hit the bottle together, the top one will bounce off but will force the bottom one to stay on the bottle. It works like a charm every time. You’re kids will love you when you win them that monster 5 foot stuffed animal.

Disclaimer: I have been banned at many carnivals and I am considered throughout the Midwest as a “Super Carnival User”.

Wow, over the last week, all I have heard about is this new BlogRush product. I don’t think there has ever been a blog widget as viral as this before. It seems every large blogger out there is talking about it and implementing it on their sites.

Okay I’ll fold to peer pressure and throw it up on this blog. To be honest though I am going to go against the grain and say I am still not 100% sold on the idea. Here is how it works. You sign up for BlogRush and get a code to place the widget on your blog page. For every impression on your widget, you earn “credits”. These credits will get your blog posts listed in other relevant blogs widgets. So essentially, the heavier trafficked your blog is, the more traffic you can gain from being on other blogs.

To me it seems like a giant pyramid scheme. But what the hell, it’s free, and I suppose we have nothing to lose by giving it a try. Likewise, many of the big guys are using it. The only problem I see right now is that several posts in the widget on this blog have nothing to do with affiliates or even poker. But, BlogRush is still a new product and their creators are working out the bugs.

To give this a try with me, sign-up through any of the blogrush links you see on this page. (I get extra credits for this). In the meantime you can get a much better explanation by watching their instructional video

Sign up at BlogRush here